In a You tube video , the two narrated that alcohol was their solace to numb the sadness, insomnia, emptiness and helplessness that comes with depression.
Ms Mwangi who is doing her masters in psychology said her depression was triggered when her boyfriend broke up with her.
“The first time I knew I was depressed was after I had gone through a very bad break up, he left me to go back to his ex, I really loved him, my family and friends knew him and we thought we would get married, ” she explains.
“After that break-up, I would cry everyday, I would get home from work, go to the shower and cry. I did this for over a month, I was constantly sad, my friends would try to cheer me up, but I was constantly in my thought asking myself and God questions, I was completely hopeless, empty and felt worthless,” she narrated.
Ms Mwangi revealed that this was a second episode, her first one being a year earlier in 2016 which was worse involving isolation- staying in the indoors for long hours with zero motivation to do even the least of chores.
To cope, she would resulted to taking cheap alcohol so she would be constantly high and get high fast. Her turning point came when she had an episode where she dropped to the floor, crying and praying to God to take the sadness away. She soon later started reading on depression, sought therapy, prayed to God persistently and soon was out of the darkness. She also took psychology to understand what her body was through her body.
For Maureen, her depression came as post partum after getting her first child.
“I would wake up, hold my baby and sit there in darkness without opening the curtains, and soon it became worse because I started entertaining suicide thoughts, every time we would fight with my husband I would feel unworthy, my self esteem was down, I would try to compare myself with other women and it was hitting hard.”
“My real depression came when I had my second baby, the entire time I was pregnant, I would cry every single day, and it was painful crying,” she narrates in the 32-minute video.
She started taking Amarula relying on it and painkillers to cure her constant headache and to get sleep. She would get her drink from dial a drink online shop which would deliver the alcohol to her doorstep. She soon started feeling embarrassed of getting the alcohol brought to her doorstep and decided to go buy it herself.
“Every afternoon, I would go to Sarit Centre to a liquour store and grab a bottle, I would come home, park the car and drink the entire bottle in the car before getting into the house. But this would be followed by a huge guilty feeling, I would do this Monday to Monday, ” she explains.
She stared getting panic attacks and palpitations, later stopped eating food so that the alcohol would work. This was in November, December 2018.
She later sought help from a life coach who is different from therapist who helped her get her life back.
Watch the video here: