I’m in love with the baby I did not want

It’s a Saturday afternoon, which means it’s playtime for Wendy Sigey and Dynah Imbuhila, her one-year-old baby. As her child struggles to run from one point to another, trying to perfect her new acquired skills— walking—her mother watches keenly hoping she doesn’t fall down. After her small win, the toddler eventually breaks in a dance, something she might have seen on television earlier on.

After some mother-daughter moment, Wendy takes her baby and heads to the house to plan on the next content for her YouTube blog Being Wendy. This entails gathering a lot of content suitable for young mums. At this time her child is tired and is falling fast asleep leaving her mother to go about her daily routine.

Not a good idea

You see, when she was just 21, Wendy discovered she was pregnant. She was confused. As she looked at the home pregnancy test kit, she hoped that the results would just change, but it was already a done deal.

With emotions rushing through her, she didn’t know who to open up to. The first person she shared the news with was her boyfriend who was over the moon. “My boyfriend was overjoyed. He didn’t find it a big deal, and he kept on thinking of how wonderful it would be to bea father. However, to me this wasn’t the case. You see, he was working while I was just a student. How could I get pregnant at such a time? I just didn’t feel like being a mother when my peers were doing what normal youths do, ” she says.

Wendy can still afford a smile despite the challenges that came with being a young mum. PHOTO COURTESY

Therefore, Wendy contemplated having an abortion. She started inquiring how and where she could have the abortion done safely. She read so much about it, but couldn’t get leads or guts on how to go about it. So she gave up on the idea.

When she was 20 weeks pregnant, she thought of how she would break the news to her mum. She thought of how she had let her parents down and words failed on how she would break the news to them. The fact that her parents had so much hope on her made the matter worse.

“I couldn’t imagine the look on my dad’s face when breaking the news. I knew he would be disappointed, but I just hoped that he could eventually understand. I practised how and what I would tell them for long and hoped that it wouldn’t turn out badly.

I managed to do it, but it didn’t go on well. I received silent treatment,” Wendy recalls.

And she had a difficult pregnancy due to her stress. She also suffered from anaemia. “I had so much to deal with, so much stress. My parents were pissed off and things were not working out between my boyfriend and I. With all this, it’s no wonder I had a premature birth at seven months through normal delivery,” she says.

Despite giving birth prematurely, her baby was healthy, apart from the fact that she was underweight —she weighed 1.4 kilogrammes.

Big role

Wendy’s parents, however, became supportive after the baby was born. “My mum gave me tips on how I should take care of the baby. I will forever be indebted to her,” she says.

Her relationship with her baby daddy worsened and the two decided to break up. However, they agreed on co-parenting and how he would support their child. “We were too young, so it took a toll on our relationship. We weren’t prepared for the baby, ” she says.

Wendy strongly believes that, in life, parents play a major role in their children’s life. “I couldn’t imagine my daughter growing up without I being there for her. I’m glad she would grow up knowing that no matter what, she means the whole world to me,” she says.

Her advice to young mothers? “Despite the challenges you may go through while carrying pregnancy to term and raising your child, never give up on them. Don’t do anything you would regret. Things eventually turn out well, though not at the beginning. That’s when you start seeing the good side of it,” she says.

By Sandra Wekesa, People Daily

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