Depression Series: How we dealt with our depression, two Youtubers speak out- VIDEO

You tubers and digital content creators Sharon Mwangi and Maureen Waititu have come out on how they coped when depression struck hardest.

In a You tube video , the two narrated that alcohol was their solace to numb the sadness, insomnia, emptiness and helplessness that comes with depression.

Ms Mwangi who is doing her masters in psychology said her depression was triggered when her boyfriend broke up with her.

“The first time I knew I was depressed was after I had gone through a very bad break up, he left me to go back to his ex, I really loved him, my family and friends knew him and we thought we would get married, ” she explains.

“After that break-up, I would cry everyday, I would get home from work, go to the shower and cry. I did this for over a month, I was constantly sad, my friends would try to cheer me up, but I was constantly in my thought asking myself and God questions, I was completely hopeless, empty and felt worthless,” she narrated.

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You Tuber and Digital Content Creator Sharon Mwangi: Photo Credit| Sharon Mwangi IG

Ms Mwangi revealed that this was a second episode, her first one being a year earlier in 2016 which was worse involving isolation- staying in the indoors for long hours with zero motivation to do even the least of chores.

To cope, she would resulted to taking  cheap alcohol so she would be constantly high and get high fast. Her turning point came when she had an episode where she dropped to the floor, crying and praying to God to take the sadness away. She soon later started reading on depression, sought therapy, prayed to God persistently and soon was out of the darkness. She also took psychology to understand what her body was through her body.

For Maureen, her depression came as post partum after getting her first child.

“I would wake up, hold my baby and sit there in darkness without opening the curtains, and soon it became worse because I started entertaining suicide thoughts, every time we would fight with my husband I would feel unworthy, my self esteem was down, I would try to compare myself with other women and it was hitting hard.”

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You Tuber and Digital Content Creator Maureen Waititu Photo Credit| Maureen Waititu IG

“My real depression came when I had my second baby, the entire time I was pregnant, I would cry every single day, and it was painful crying,” she narrates in the 32-minute video.

She started taking Amarula relying on it and painkillers to cure her constant headache and to get sleep. She would get her drink from  dial a drink online shop which would deliver the alcohol to her doorstep. She soon started feeling embarrassed of  getting the alcohol brought to her doorstep and decided to go buy it herself.

“Every afternoon, I would go to Sarit Centre to a liquour store and grab a bottle, I would come home, park the car and drink the entire bottle in the car before getting into the house. But this would be followed by a huge guilty feeling, I would do this Monday to Monday, ” she explains.

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Social Media influencer, gym fitness junkie and Maureen Waititu’s husband Frank holding their two sons

She stared getting panic attacks and palpitations, later stopped eating food so that the alcohol would work. This was in November, December 2018.

She later sought help from a life coach who is different from therapist who helped her get her life back.

Watch the video here:

 

 

 

I grew up with an abusive dad, discovered my mum was HIV positive: ex-Tahidi High actor speaks out-VIDEO

BY WANJA KIMANI

Former Tahidi High actress Christine Njeri better known as Makena has laid bare her life growing up with a violent father , discovering her mother;s HIV/AIDS status and the post traumatic depression she is battling.

In an interview with NTV weekly talk show Unscripted, with Grace Msalame, Makena who currently works with BBC revealed a childhood life of trauma, stigma from neighbours due to her mother’s HIV status and the constant moving of houses to escape domestic violence from her father.

WhatsApp Image 2019-04-03 at 12.22.08It is a sad story of how domestic violence and a broken home can impact on children who later in their adult years battle with depression, anxiety and other forms of mental illness.

“It was on five birthday when I first experienced my father’s violence, he came home one night drunk and smashed my birthday cake on the wall, I was broken, and that was the beginning of a twenty year long of seeing my father violent,  ” Makena tells Ms Msalame.

“We moved over over 15 times, when dad’s violence became too much, but mum would still go back, there are people who stay in relationships because they want the kids to have a better education, that was always my mum’s education, but what is fancy school with trauma.”

“Violence was one dynamic, then cheating came into play and I would bump into my father  in town with different women, it became something that was obvious, not hidden anymore,” the former Tahidi High actress narrated.

This led to Makena’s mother going to a silent coma for three months, due to nervous breakdown caused by severe depression.

Then another discovery of ARVs while cleaning her mother’s room would shatter her life, beginning a journey of stigma from neighbours who would whisper behind their backs and discrimination in school.

“You would constantly hear murmurs about our homestead and people knew about my dad behavior, stigma  did damage to me, I watched my mum’s health deteriorate, going from using clutches to using a wheelchair.”

Her mother would later pass on in 2013 and Njeri chose not to speak to her father for two years until 2015 when he was on his deathbed.

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Former Tahidi High actress Christine Njeri

She never visited her father in the hospital for a longtime until one day when her brother succeeded in convincing her just days before he passed on.

“He couldn’t talk, he was very sick and I told him, ‘Daddy I forgive you for everything you took us through. I set you free.”

Makena is currently planning to support and talk to children who are affected by HIV as well as domestic violence.

 

 

 

How heart break drove 19-year-old girl to suicide

When she died, Fridah Makena, a Meru National Polytechnic student, set the internet ablaze.

But even today, questions still linger on whether she committed suicide or succumbed to long term complications from diabetes.

Ms Makena hailed from Kabanda village in South Imenti, not far from Nkubu Township. Neighbours in the tea-growing village will dissuade anyone who seeks directions to her home, saying it is wrong to disturb her still tramautised family.

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Fridah Makena, a Meru National Polytechnic student,

In the last hours of her life, Makena, 19, is said to have been shattered and inconsolable.

During those fraught last hours, the undeniably beautiful young woman despairingly sent out pleas for help disguised as goodbye messages to her friends.

The messages and social media posts revealed a shattered soul that was battling untold pain after a breakup with her Co-operative University boyfriend of many years.

Suicide was the last thing I ever thought of, but I give up. All the best and please don’t miss me,” Makena wrote to one of her friends, as part of a longer emotionally charged message, which she concluded with a sad face emoticon.

Then finally she sent a male friend a photo of nearly 20 white pills in an unwrapped brown paper, some which had spilled over onto a bed sheet in her room.

Makena took a video of herself as she popped the white pills one by one, as she forced them down her throat with water.

Hours later, she was reported dead.

Whether she died immediately after popping the pills or after she was admitted to hospital, is another story only her relatives and doctors know.

According to her obituary, she was taken ill and admitted to Consolata Hospital Nkubu, where her condition worsened due to kidney and liver failure before she died.

A relative said her suicide may have been triggered by the heartbreak, but she had also been battling depression for some years after she was diagnosed with diabetes.

Standardmedia.co.ke

DEPRESSION SERIES:Heavy social media users at higher risk of falling into depression

For more than a year, most of Millicent Kithinji’s Facebook friends ignored her posts, many of which were overwhelmingly laden with clear signs of unhappiness, dissatisfaction with life, depression and suicidal thoughts.

But when she finally reached the tipping point and committed suicide on March 21, her friends, and suddenly the country, were finally forced to take note.

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Millicent Kithinji (Courtesy)

Everything was on a downward spiral from April 2017, when Kithinji posted a picture of her daughter held by her father.

In August 2017, she wrote on Facebook, “Some situations make me think that the dead are at peace than the living”. In October the same year, she asked God to remember her.

Underlying problems

Again, in November, Kithinji wrote that stress had become a recurrent feature of her life before complaining in December about a woman who gossiped about her and her daughter. Even though her posts were scattered over months, they were indicative of Kithinji’s depression, as well as the underlying problems.

According to her family and friends, Kithinji’s depression was powered by a train of unfortunate circumstances, from joblessness and financial struggles to strife with her child’s father, who she had separated with.

In one of Kithinji’s posts, written a day before her suicide, the mother of a three-year-old girl expressed frustration over her inability to give her daughter a comfortable life despite her immense love for her.

Finally, on March 21, Kithinji hanged herself in an animal shed in her parents’ home.

According to experts, cases like Kithinji’s show the need to minimise or be more vigilant about social media use, given that it only exerts more pressure on individuals already battling serious problems such as depression.

“People who have low self-esteem, poor impulse control or a tendency toward addiction should pay attention to their social media use. Contrary to many people’s fears, social media does not make someone more socially avoidant or isolated. In fact, it can do the opposite by providing access to people and resources,” notes Pamela Rutledge, a media psychologist.

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Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

While in cases like Kithinji’s, people may use social media to cry out for help or attention, there are those that are pushed to feelings of inadequacy as they compare their lives to the glamorous ones of friends splashed on the sites.

source:standard.co.ke

Former TPF pianist Aaron Rimbui talks of his battle with self esteem

Former Tusker Project Fame Pianist Aaron Rimbui took to Twitter to explain how self acceptance has been a battle he fights every day.

The renowned pianist who suffered burns from gas explosion and also battled heart disease and cancer says he is still learning to love himself.

I’ve battled low self esteem & self worth. I’m learning to love myself:to know that it’s ok to fail:my limitations aren’t an indictment:to know that I’m loved & valuable especially when I feel inadequate. Be encouraged,” said Mr Rimui in a Tweet.

See the Tweet Below:

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Musician and Pianist Aaron Rimbui tweet on self acceptance

Mr Rimbui has narrated how he suffered second-degree burns from a gas explosion which followed months in hospital to reconstruct the parts of his body.

He has also previously taken to social media to explain how he battled depression, heart disease and cancer which came two years after he suffered the burn.