“I wanted to kill my wife, army friends”- Ex-KDF man confesses

Former military officer and now Pastor Joseph Gitumbe is a living anecdote of “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

Gitumbe is still on the road to recovery six years after he was involved in a road accident that left him with a disfigured face.

In 2013, Gitumbe was rushed to hospital after being involved in a road accident where doctors worked for hours to rebuild his face before being discharged months later to recuperate at home.

“The impact was enough to shatter my nose, eye sockets and left cheek, and cause a deep cut to from my forehead to my cheek,‘’ he said.

Although Gitumbe sustained a catalogue of injuries in the crash including severe facial wounds, several broken ribs and a broken spine, his self-esteem suffered and he became more traumatic.Gitumbe revealed he was dumped by his wife and abandoned by some of his friends after the surgery left him with scars on his face.

“A woman I had loved left me immediately she learnt I had lost my face. She told me that my face scares our child. It broke my heart. I felt like committing suicide. My wife decided to rent a separate house,” he said.

He further added that he felt demoralized and could not go out after the treatment because he didn’t want people to see his scars.“I was left in the hands of friends who stood by me during the trying times. Some of my relatives avoided my calls,” he added.

“My work mates at the barracks gave me all manner of demeaning names. It was too much.” I would occasionally ask doctors attending to me to cut off my head just to end my pain. I wanted acceptance.”

Gitumbe, who worked as a KDF officer at the time of the accident, said he was relieved of duty in 2016 on medical grounds. He had served five years in the military.This was after a team of medical doctors sat down and concluded that he was unfit to work.“I was approached and asked to sign a letter and start making plans to leave the barracks,” Gitumbe narrated to the Standard Digital Video desk.

“I first turned away the papers and asked them where they expected me to go with such a condition and yet I got injured while on duty. I tried to convince them that relieving me would only worsen my condition as I had no money.”

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Joseph Gitumbe now Pastor [Picture Courtesy]

Silently, in his heart, he was planning to teach the people he believed were the cause for his downfall a lesson. On the list was his wife and some colleagues in the army.

“I had decided to kill my colleagues who were on the doctors’ board. How could they preside over my dismissal yet they knew I needed help? I was going to kill my wife and thereafter kill myself,” said Joseph.

However, rather than dwell on the past, Joseph went for a prayer meeting at Redeemed Gospel Church in Huruma, Nairobi.

He met with Pastor Nancy Maina who is also a professional psychologist. Before she prayed for him, she made him understand the value of life.“I went there for prayers. But she was scared of me because I was shaking and agitated. She however managed to calm me down and convinced me to ditch my plan. She told me that I was still valuable despite my scars.”

He then realised what he had missed for three years – acceptance and love. He went home a different person after the revelation.

“I dropped my evil plans,” says Joseph who started counselling sessions with the pastor.The church also offered him financial help.

Source:Standard Digital

Depression series: Real House-helps of Kawangware actress reveals her battle with mental health

Real Househelps of Kawangware actress Njeri Gachomba has shared that she has been fighting depression for sometime now.

The mother of one first shared her experience with depression when she broke up with her baby daddy two years ago. She opened up about her experience in a Q and A session where she said she has been struggling with mental illness.

“You know, depressed people are advised to talk about their issues but it’s never that easy for me because I hate talking about my problems,” Njambi said.

She went on to say that many people choose to stay silent because people don’t understand it’s a disease.

“No one will ever understand the pain you are in and that is why I just prefer to lock myself in my bedroom and pray rather than talk to someone.” she confessed. 

Adding:

It is so hard because once you are stressed by a small issue, you go back to square one. I just listen to music, cry a lot and I mean a lot. Sometimes I hate the attention and there is so much pressure from everyone.”

Source:Ghafla

Tragic: Constable shoots wife and five-year old daughter 20 times, then kills himself.

Jane Njoki and her grandmother Jane Njoki Nderitu were inseparable. Hardly would a day pass before one could call or visit the other.

On February 27, however, Nderitu failed to hear from her granddaughter, a small business operator and a bar owner, only to be attracted by sounds of gunshots and screams from Suswa Anti-Stock Theft Unit camp in Subukia.

The 69-year-old woman’s heart skipped a beat, as she instinctively tried to reach Njoki. Njoki’s mobile phone was, however, off.

Word quickly went round Thuthu village in Weseges ward that Cosmas Biwott, 27, and a constable, had sprayed Njoki, 26, with at least 20 bullets, killing her and their five-year-old daughter Shantel Nyambura.

Biwott later committed suicide.Nderitu was overwhelmed. She could not believe her granddaughter, with whom she shared a name, had died.

She tried to access the bodies at the camp, unsuccessfully, since it is a protected area.

“The death of my granddaughter was so painful. When I heard the gun shots, I thought it was cattle theft suspects, only to receive shocking news of her death. This was such a brutal act,” said Nderitu, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Earlier, Njoki had informed her grandmother that the officer was hostile and used to pick quarrels with her over petty issues before attacking her.Efforts to resolve the issues did not bear fruit.

“I advised my granddaughter to quit her marriage, as I did not see it last because the officer seemed not ready to settle. More often, she suffered injuries from his brutal attacks,” she said.

Njoki’s death took a toll on the family. She was the sole breadwinner. The family is now living in abject poverty.

She was survived by a 10-year-old daughter Bridgit Wambui, who is now depending on the aged Nderitu to do income generating activities to feed the family.

Mother also sickly

Njoki’s mother Sarah Wambui is also sickly, and depends on Nderitu for financial support.For Nderitu, death snatched away a disciplined, jovial and responsible woman, who used to take care of their financial welfare.

“I wish death struck me, and not my granddaughter, who used to work to help the family financially. Death is so cruel,” said the Nderitu.

The woman said Njoki also used to pay school fees for her younger siblings John Nderitu and Jackline Waithera, both students at St Michaels Secondary School.The two have been missing classes following accumulated fee balance.

“Life is so tough on us after death of my daughter, who used to buy for us food and support her younger siblings, who are now out of school,” said Ms Wambui.

A devastated Wambui said Biwott had threatened to kill Njoki several times. The two had been married for seven months.Wambui said Njoki moved out of his house and rented her own when the quarrels became unbearable.

“The officer threatened to kill me and my daughter two weeks before committing the crime,” she said.”They would part ways.

However, they later got back together without my knowledge,” recalled Wambui.She described her daughter as jovial and loving, and who worked extra hard to improve their livelihoods.”I feel sad having lost my daughter at such a prime age when she was also expected to raise her children,” she said.

Source Credit:Standard media

MY STORY: I found my husband hanging in our garage- Video

Laura Chite has decided to speak out on mental illness, using her story to enlighten people on a topic that is gaining ground in Kenya but is yet to be understood by many.

In an Engage Talk, Ms Chite explains how one day coming from work, she found her husband of two years dead in their garage, he had hanged himself.

“I tried to access the garage, I found the door a little ajar, my husband used to do a lot of stuff there, so it was not abnormal that I found the door slightly open, I pushed the door further and my body goes numb,  I see a silhouette, hanging there, I look again, I am confused and I walk away,” explains Ms Chite.

She walked to her sister’s house next door and knocked the door furiously before the sister let her in.

“She asked me what was wrong, I tell her I think Steve has taken his life, she asks me, what! and I am like, I think he is hanging in the garage and I start crying hysterically.”

Depression diaries: I sunk into depression after giving birth to my baby-DJ Makena reveals

Organised husband

In the talk, Ms Chite explains that when she lost her husband Steve, she had so many questions. She also narrates how organised her husband was and he had been planning the suicide for a while. He left a note detailing what he would want to be done after his passing, how he should be buried after only three days and another note to Ms Chite that read: “Tell Laura I love her very much, and I don’t want her to suffer because of my illness.”

“My  husband had been suffering from bipolar three years to his death, and he had been deteriorating at a very fast rate and I did not realise it, and because of the shame of the society, we never talked  about it, we kept it a secret and nobody knew what was going on, so we isolated ourselves from all those around us, my personality changed, I was no longer adventurous, no longer social or explorative and I realised this after my husband went,” she narrates.

My life battling severe mood disorder

“When he was sick,  I always asked him what I can do to help, and he said, ‘my love, there is nothing you can do, I have to help myself and I do not know how,’ nobody could do anything to help him and the best thing I could do was take care of him and watch him as he struggled with his life.”

Conversations on mental health

Ms Chite now wants the conversation on suicide to be made, a topic that has been bedeviled by silence and a lot of judgement when someone takes away their life.

How heart break drove 19-year-old girl to suicide

“What bothers me is when I see the stories of suicide in the news, it takes me back eight years ago and I ask myself what can we do to fix this situation, we cannot be having the same thing happening eight years later, so I decided to do my part and I told my story through Jackson Biko, I did this because the more we keep quiet when these things happen, the more we are fanning the fuel, we must share, so that those signs that are seen, that you notice them and you are able to do something about them,” she explains.

After sharing her story with Mr Biko, Ms Chite got many messages from people, some of who wanted to take their lifes away, she says she tried her best to talk them out of it, others who talked to her were caregivers of people people struggling with personality disorders.

Depression Series: How we dealt with our depression, two Youtubers speak out- VIDEO

Bipolar

This is a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings from emotional highs to emotional lows.

So its main symptom is alternating episodes of euphoria to major depression.

The fluctuations can be severe with moods being  normal in between.

Some people experience hallucinations.

Bipolar is a lifelong condition and but can be managed by medication and counseling.

 

DEPRESSION SERIES: Empire actress Taraji P. Henson reveals her battle with anxiety and getting the right therapist

The Empire star Taraji P. Henson is the latest celebrity to open up about her battle with depression.

In an interview with Page Six, the 48 year old said she is currently at her lowest in dealing with anxiety

“I suffer from depression, My anxiety is kicking up, even more, every day, and I’ve never really dealt with anxiety like that. It’s something new,” Taraji told Page Six

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Taraji P Henson

 

RIGHT THERAPIST

Henson, who stars on “Empire” as Cookie Lyon, says she goes to therapy regularly and had to go through professionals in order to find the right fit.

“You’ve got to keep going until you find the right one,” she added. “It’s like a relationship. I’ve got to feel comfortable because that’s the only way I’m going to keep coming back to you. To keep dealing with this ugly stuff, I have to feel totally safe.”

The Oscar-nominated actress also expressed that the lack of privacy in her life contributed to her depression and anxiety.

“It wears on me,” Henson explained. “I have to be conscious about everything. Everything. Every move I make, everything that comes out of my mouth. I have to go over it. That’s not living. That’s not just being. Living is being in the moment and saying whatever the f—k you want to say and that’s what it is. But I can’t do that.”

Source:Page Six

I grew up with an abusive dad, discovered my mum was HIV positive: ex-Tahidi High actor speaks out-VIDEO

BY WANJA KIMANI

Former Tahidi High actress Christine Njeri better known as Makena has laid bare her life growing up with a violent father , discovering her mother;s HIV/AIDS status and the post traumatic depression she is battling.

In an interview with NTV weekly talk show Unscripted, with Grace Msalame, Makena who currently works with BBC revealed a childhood life of trauma, stigma from neighbours due to her mother’s HIV status and the constant moving of houses to escape domestic violence from her father.

WhatsApp Image 2019-04-03 at 12.22.08It is a sad story of how domestic violence and a broken home can impact on children who later in their adult years battle with depression, anxiety and other forms of mental illness.

“It was on five birthday when I first experienced my father’s violence, he came home one night drunk and smashed my birthday cake on the wall, I was broken, and that was the beginning of a twenty year long of seeing my father violent,  ” Makena tells Ms Msalame.

“We moved over over 15 times, when dad’s violence became too much, but mum would still go back, there are people who stay in relationships because they want the kids to have a better education, that was always my mum’s education, but what is fancy school with trauma.”

“Violence was one dynamic, then cheating came into play and I would bump into my father  in town with different women, it became something that was obvious, not hidden anymore,” the former Tahidi High actress narrated.

This led to Makena’s mother going to a silent coma for three months, due to nervous breakdown caused by severe depression.

Then another discovery of ARVs while cleaning her mother’s room would shatter her life, beginning a journey of stigma from neighbours who would whisper behind their backs and discrimination in school.

“You would constantly hear murmurs about our homestead and people knew about my dad behavior, stigma  did damage to me, I watched my mum’s health deteriorate, going from using clutches to using a wheelchair.”

Her mother would later pass on in 2013 and Njeri chose not to speak to her father for two years until 2015 when he was on his deathbed.

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Former Tahidi High actress Christine Njeri

She never visited her father in the hospital for a longtime until one day when her brother succeeded in convincing her just days before he passed on.

“He couldn’t talk, he was very sick and I told him, ‘Daddy I forgive you for everything you took us through. I set you free.”

Makena is currently planning to support and talk to children who are affected by HIV as well as domestic violence.